Comments for The Adoption Tree http://theadoptiontree.wordpress.com Fri, 10 Jul 2009 20:29:29 +0000 http://wordpress.com/ hourly 1 Comment on Adoption Records Opened in Ontario by Oasis1223 http://theadoptiontree.wordpress.com/2009/07/10/adoption-records-opened-in-ontario/#comment-131 Oasis1223 Fri, 10 Jul 2009 20:29:29 +0000 http://theadoptiontree.wordpress.com/?p=44#comment-131 I'm and adult adoptee in British Columbia and am glad to see the records opening up some more. I have obtained all my records and have been processing this information on my own blog. Thanks for posting this! When I have more time I'm going to read this blog more carefully. Thanks! I’m and adult adoptee in British Columbia and am glad to see the records opening up some more. I have obtained all my records and have been processing this information on my own blog. Thanks for posting this! When I have more time I’m going to read this blog more carefully. Thanks!

]]> Comment on Breast Feeding as an Adoptive Mother by Holly http://theadoptiontree.wordpress.com/2008/02/20/breast-feeding-as-an-adoptive-mother/#comment-130 Holly Wed, 08 Jul 2009 20:40:14 +0000 http://theadoptiontree.wordpress.com/?p=24#comment-130 I agree with both chuckling and adoptive mom to be. How did American culture become so breast negative? Americans are so obsessed with the sexualization of breasts that we have forgotten what they are for. Women have breastfed each others babies for thousands of years of human evolution so it is in no way "unnatural". If you are going to use the argument that breastfeeding another's biological child is unnatural than you can also argue that adoption itself is unnatural. How is feeding any different than other caretaking behaviors an adoptive parent does? Yes, a birth mother may become jealous when hearing their child is being breastfed by someone else, but that same jealousy will come up when thinking about them kissing their child, tucking them in at night, cuddling with them, watching them take their first step, etc. The benefits of breastfeeding for the baby are well-documented. Ask any doctor. Do the research. I think it is sad that American culture has become so uncomfortable with this beautiful and powerful part of the female body that so many people chose to do what's NOT best for the baby. I agree with both chuckling and adoptive mom to be. How did American culture become so breast negative? Americans are so obsessed with the sexualization of breasts that we have forgotten what they are for. Women have breastfed each others babies for thousands of years of human evolution so it is in no way “unnatural”. If you are going to use the argument that breastfeeding another’s biological child is unnatural than you can also argue that adoption itself is unnatural. How is feeding any different than other caretaking behaviors an adoptive parent does? Yes, a birth mother may become jealous when hearing their child is being breastfed by someone else, but that same jealousy will come up when thinking about them kissing their child, tucking them in at night, cuddling with them, watching them take their first step, etc. The benefits of breastfeeding for the baby are well-documented. Ask any doctor. Do the research. I think it is sad that American culture has become so uncomfortable with this beautiful and powerful part of the female body that so many people chose to do what’s NOT best for the baby.

]]> Comment on Breast Feeding as an Adoptive Mother by Lee http://theadoptiontree.wordpress.com/2008/02/20/breast-feeding-as-an-adoptive-mother/#comment-128 Lee Wed, 03 Jun 2009 01:09:52 +0000 http://theadoptiontree.wordpress.com/?p=24#comment-128 I ran across this and had to comment. I totally agree with some of you. I am a birth mother and I will never forget that disturbing feeling months into the (open) adoption that I got when the adopting mom told me that she had attempted breast feeding. Fast forward 10 years later to the present and I now see it was an indicator of insecurities to come. Its now clear that the mom has never truley come to grips with the fact that she can not bear a child etc. I have read all the stories of so called history of wet nurses and such, and it does not make me feel any less disturbed. We are not cavemen nor is it the 1800's, nor did I have a disease that prevented the birth mom (me) from breast feeding...with todays convient formulas it just is not necessary. Just my opinion, but I think someone hit the nail on the head when stating that it seems like the adopting mom is doing it for selfish (though with possible positive effects) of bonding. If bonding with a non-biological infant might be problematic, adoption may not be for you. A bold statement, I know but it strikes me along the same lines as some of the teenage girls I council attempting closeness from their boyfriends via unprotected sex. Emotional closeness is brought about by time, caring, etc. not just by a physical closeness. I ran across this and had to comment. I totally agree with some of you. I am a birth mother and I will never forget that disturbing feeling months into the (open) adoption that I got when the adopting mom told me that she had attempted breast feeding. Fast forward 10 years later to the present and I now see it was an indicator of insecurities to come. Its now clear that the mom has never truley come to grips with the fact that she can not bear a child etc. I have read all the stories of so called history of wet nurses and such, and it does not make me feel any less disturbed. We are not cavemen nor is it the 1800’s, nor did I have a disease that prevented the birth mom (me) from breast feeding…with todays convient formulas it just is not necessary. Just my opinion, but I think someone hit the nail on the head when stating that it seems like the adopting mom is doing it for selfish (though with possible positive effects) of bonding. If bonding with a non-biological infant might be problematic, adoption may not be for you. A bold statement, I know but it strikes me along the same lines as some of the teenage girls I council attempting closeness from their boyfriends via unprotected sex. Emotional closeness is brought about by time, caring, etc. not just by a physical closeness.

]]> Comment on I Gave Birth to a Baby Girl. by Brown http://theadoptiontree.wordpress.com/2009/04/09/i-gave-birth-to-a-baby-girl/#comment-127 Brown Mon, 18 May 2009 22:51:31 +0000 http://theadoptiontree.wordpress.com/2009/04/09/i-gave-birth-to-a-baby-girl/#comment-127 Congrats to you and your family on your baby girl! Thanks for keeping us posted :) Congrats to you and your family on your baby girl! Thanks for keeping us posted :)

]]> Comment on The Confusion and Guilt of Being a Sister by Birth by dena silver http://theadoptiontree.wordpress.com/2008/01/24/the-confusion-and-guilt-of-being-a-sister-by-birth/#comment-126 dena silver Fri, 08 May 2009 06:08:24 +0000 http://theadoptiontree.wordpress.com/2008/01/24/the-confusion-and-guilt-of-being-a-sister-by-birth/#comment-126 I'm going to suggest that guilt feelings may be a way to keep down the anger. You've every right to feel anger at having been treated in a dismissive way. And at having been placed in such a difficult situation by your parents. I’m going to suggest that guilt feelings may be a way to keep down the anger. You’ve every right to feel anger at having been treated in a dismissive way. And at having been placed in such a difficult situation by your parents.

]]> Comment on I Gave Birth to a Baby Girl. by mama2roo http://theadoptiontree.wordpress.com/2009/04/09/i-gave-birth-to-a-baby-girl/#comment-123 mama2roo Fri, 10 Apr 2009 01:05:19 +0000 http://theadoptiontree.wordpress.com/2009/04/09/i-gave-birth-to-a-baby-girl/#comment-123 Congratulations! Such happy news! Keep us up to date! Congratulations! Such happy news! Keep us up to date!

]]> Comment on Breast Feeding as an Adoptive Mother by Adoptive Mom to Be http://theadoptiontree.wordpress.com/2008/02/20/breast-feeding-as-an-adoptive-mother/#comment-122 Adoptive Mom to Be Sun, 29 Mar 2009 20:11:54 +0000 http://theadoptiontree.wordpress.com/?p=24#comment-122 I agree with "chuckling" comments above. I am preparing to adopt and do not know my future child yet. As an educated woman, breast feeding is a serious option I am now researching. Honestly, I was disturbed when I came across the commentary of people being grossed out by this scenario. I eat organic food and have a strong understanding that processed food is not what is best for us as humans. Why wouldn't I look at the healthiest nutritional choice for a child? Breast feeding is clearly the more natural choice not the easiest. As for bonding, I am confident in my ability to bond without my breast, although I am sure I will discover what everyone is talking about when they mention the preciousness of that quality connection between a care giver and an infant. I believe if women weren't so self-conscious about the uniqueness of their breasts (too small, perky, too big, too saggy) and thought about the purpose of them (to feed babies) this wouldn't be an issue. By the way: I hope the birth mother of my future son or daughter provides the first feed for the babies advantage of receiving colostrum. I agree with “chuckling” comments above.

I am preparing to adopt and do not know my future child yet. As an educated woman, breast feeding is a serious option I am now researching. Honestly, I was disturbed when I came across the commentary of people being grossed out by this scenario.

I eat organic food and have a strong understanding that processed food is not what is best for us as humans. Why wouldn’t I look at the healthiest nutritional choice for a child?
Breast feeding is clearly the more natural choice not the easiest.

As for bonding, I am confident in my ability to bond without my breast, although I am sure I will discover what everyone is talking about when they mention the preciousness of that quality connection between a care giver and an infant.

I believe if women weren’t so self-conscious about the uniqueness of their breasts (too small, perky, too big, too saggy) and thought about the purpose of them (to feed babies) this wouldn’t be an issue.

By the way:
I hope the birth mother of my future son or daughter provides the first feed for the babies advantage of receiving colostrum.

]]> Comment on Ten Confessions of a Hopeful Adoptive Parent by Maria http://theadoptiontree.wordpress.com/2008/01/25/ten-confessions-from-a-hopeful-adoptive-parent/#comment-121 Maria Wed, 11 Mar 2009 01:40:00 +0000 http://theadoptiontree.wordpress.com/?p=22#comment-121 Very well said! I am right there with you on #5, and I hate it--but I can't help it! Very well said! I am right there with you on #5, and I hate it–but I can’t help it!

]]> Comment on Breast Feeding as an Adoptive Mother by chuckling http://theadoptiontree.wordpress.com/2008/02/20/breast-feeding-as-an-adoptive-mother/#comment-120 chuckling Mon, 02 Mar 2009 07:20:39 +0000 http://theadoptiontree.wordpress.com/?p=24#comment-120 I am laughing at all the people "grossing out" over adoptive parents breastfeeding. Human milk for human infants. Funny how people gross out and then go to the grocery store and buy a gallon of milk that came from the surrogate tits of cows. I applaud adoptive moms who breastfeed. Good for them! So what if part of their reason is bonding? Adopted infants don't deserve to bond with the same advantage that biological infants do? Like adoptive aunt above, I will probably be adopting my sister's baby. I have breastfed my children, and I have no qualms about breastfeeding this child too- and for exactly the same reason I breastfed my other children- nutrition, immune factors, formula cost, convenience and yea bonding too. I am laughing at all the people “grossing out” over adoptive parents breastfeeding. Human milk for human infants. Funny how people gross out and then go to the grocery store and buy a gallon of milk that came from the surrogate tits of cows. I applaud adoptive moms who breastfeed. Good for them! So what if part of their reason is bonding? Adopted infants don’t deserve to bond with the same advantage that biological infants do? Like adoptive aunt above, I will probably be adopting my sister’s baby. I have breastfed my children, and I have no qualms about breastfeeding this child too- and for exactly the same reason I breastfed my other children- nutrition, immune factors, formula cost, convenience and yea bonding too.

]]> Comment on Ten Confessions of an Adoptee by quetzalito2008 http://theadoptiontree.wordpress.com/2008/01/28/ten-confessions-of-an-adoptee/#comment-104 quetzalito2008 Sun, 21 Dec 2008 03:40:50 +0000 http://theadoptiontree.wordpress.com/?p=23#comment-104 Ceejay1, Everyone is different and everyone's adoption experience is different. I have know adoptees who deeply want to know about their birth family. I have known adoptees who are mildly interested. And I have known adoptees who claim that they don't want to know anything. Adoptiontree: All 10 of your confessions ring very true to me. My birth parents feel like friends or distant relatives, but my birth siblings really, really feel like siblings. Kind regards, Quetzalito Ceejay1, Everyone is different and everyone’s adoption experience is different. I have know adoptees who deeply want to know about their birth family. I have known adoptees who are mildly interested. And I have known adoptees who claim that they don’t want to know anything.

Adoptiontree: All 10 of your confessions ring very true to me. My birth parents feel like friends or distant relatives, but my birth siblings really, really feel like siblings.

Kind regards,

Quetzalito

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