Comments for The Adoption Tree http://theadoptiontree.wordpress.com Thu, 10 Sep 2009 23:22:00 +0000 http://wordpress.com/ hourly 1 Comment on Searching for Birth Parents Using the Internet by sandrar http://theadoptiontree.wordpress.com/2008/04/22/searching-for-birth-parents-using-the-internet/#comment-138 sandrar Thu, 10 Sep 2009 23:22:00 +0000 http://theadoptiontree.wordpress.com/?p=27#comment-138 Hi! I was surfing and found your blog post... nice! I love your blog. :) Cheers! Sandra. R. Hi! I was surfing and found your blog post… nice! I love your blog. :) Cheers! Sandra. R.

]]> Comment on Not the oldest grandchild. by Dealing with birthfamilies « Tk91’s Weblog http://theadoptiontree.wordpress.com/2009/08/30/who-am-i/#comment-136 Dealing with birthfamilies « Tk91’s Weblog Fri, 04 Sep 2009 07:26:14 +0000 http://theadoptiontree.wordpress.com/?p=49#comment-136 [...] expand your understanding and awareness of the adoption experience.  Here is one such post about one experience with birthfamily written by blogger “Adoption Tree”.  As Sri is/was the “first/oldest [...] [...] expand your understanding and awareness of the adoption experience.  Here is one such post about one experience with birthfamily written by blogger “Adoption Tree”.  As Sri is/was the “first/oldest [...]

]]> Comment on Celebrity Adoption by Tk91 http://theadoptiontree.wordpress.com/2009/04/10/celebrity-adoption/#comment-135 Tk91 Fri, 04 Sep 2009 06:35:27 +0000 http://theadoptiontree.wordpress.com/?p=32#comment-135 This post (check it out at - http://kadnexus.wordpress.com/) to the issue you raise above about international adoption and cultural awareness. I thought you might find the post and the blog itself interesting. This post (check it out at – http://kadnexus.wordpress.com/)
to the issue you raise above about international adoption and cultural awareness. I thought you might find the post and the blog itself interesting.

]]> Comment on Not the oldest grandchild. by Tk91 http://theadoptiontree.wordpress.com/2009/08/30/who-am-i/#comment-134 Tk91 Thu, 03 Sep 2009 08:10:18 +0000 http://theadoptiontree.wordpress.com/?p=49#comment-134 This post shakes me to the core and simply underlines the far reaching impact of adoption on all involved (even those who choose to remain in denial, possibly even on their deathbed). My daughter (whom I placed almost 18 years ago) is also the oldest grandchild. I wonder, too, when my/our child turns 18 and beyond what will occur in her relationships with birthfamily members. I have attempted to begin to prepare my family for her "entrance" into their lives. She has repeatedly asked to meet them for the last several years. (All except my mom live out of state.) Personally I believe my family members are pretty much in denial about how adoption has impacted our family. Time will tell whether the loss of having my child in our lives on a regular basis hits them as hard as it has me over the years. I feel for you and wonder what your birthmother's role is in your life. (Obviously I need to read more of your blog.) I so want to protect my daughter from thoughtless actions and statements that could take place between her and birthfamily members (most likely out of ignorance and confusion on so many levels). I find it sad that the birthfamily was so open about daily painful events, but could not share the good memories or the support following his death. Your questions and your feelings are totally legitimate! My heart breaks for all the painful stories I read of those in adoption. The public needs to be educated! Adoption is no joke! It's impact is far reaching! Thanks for your post and blog in attempting to do just that! This post shakes me to the core and simply underlines the far reaching impact of adoption on all involved (even those who choose to remain in denial, possibly even on their deathbed).

My daughter (whom I placed almost 18 years ago) is also the oldest grandchild. I wonder, too, when my/our child turns 18 and beyond what will occur in her relationships with birthfamily members. I have attempted to begin to prepare my family for her “entrance” into their lives. She has repeatedly asked to meet them for the last several years. (All except my mom live out of state.)

Personally I believe my family members are pretty much in denial about how adoption has impacted our family. Time will tell whether the loss of having my child in our lives on a regular basis hits them as hard as it has me over the years.

I feel for you and wonder what your birthmother’s role is in your life. (Obviously I need to read more of your blog.) I so want to protect my daughter from thoughtless actions and statements that could take place between her and birthfamily members (most likely out of ignorance and confusion on so many levels).

I find it sad that the birthfamily was so open about daily painful events, but could not share the good memories or the support following his death. Your questions and your feelings are totally legitimate! My heart breaks for all the painful stories I read of those in adoption. The public needs to be educated! Adoption is no joke! It’s impact is far reaching!

Thanks for your post and blog in attempting to do just that!

]]> Comment on Adoption Records Opened in Ontario by Oasis1223 http://theadoptiontree.wordpress.com/2009/07/10/adoption-records-opened-in-ontario/#comment-131 Oasis1223 Fri, 10 Jul 2009 20:29:29 +0000 http://theadoptiontree.wordpress.com/?p=44#comment-131 I'm and adult adoptee in British Columbia and am glad to see the records opening up some more. I have obtained all my records and have been processing this information on my own blog. Thanks for posting this! When I have more time I'm going to read this blog more carefully. Thanks! I’m and adult adoptee in British Columbia and am glad to see the records opening up some more. I have obtained all my records and have been processing this information on my own blog. Thanks for posting this! When I have more time I’m going to read this blog more carefully. Thanks!

]]> Comment on Breast Feeding as an Adoptive Mother by Holly http://theadoptiontree.wordpress.com/2008/02/20/breast-feeding-as-an-adoptive-mother/#comment-130 Holly Wed, 08 Jul 2009 20:40:14 +0000 http://theadoptiontree.wordpress.com/?p=24#comment-130 I agree with both chuckling and adoptive mom to be. How did American culture become so breast negative? Americans are so obsessed with the sexualization of breasts that we have forgotten what they are for. Women have breastfed each others babies for thousands of years of human evolution so it is in no way "unnatural". If you are going to use the argument that breastfeeding another's biological child is unnatural than you can also argue that adoption itself is unnatural. How is feeding any different than other caretaking behaviors an adoptive parent does? Yes, a birth mother may become jealous when hearing their child is being breastfed by someone else, but that same jealousy will come up when thinking about them kissing their child, tucking them in at night, cuddling with them, watching them take their first step, etc. The benefits of breastfeeding for the baby are well-documented. Ask any doctor. Do the research. I think it is sad that American culture has become so uncomfortable with this beautiful and powerful part of the female body that so many people chose to do what's NOT best for the baby. I agree with both chuckling and adoptive mom to be. How did American culture become so breast negative? Americans are so obsessed with the sexualization of breasts that we have forgotten what they are for. Women have breastfed each others babies for thousands of years of human evolution so it is in no way “unnatural”. If you are going to use the argument that breastfeeding another’s biological child is unnatural than you can also argue that adoption itself is unnatural. How is feeding any different than other caretaking behaviors an adoptive parent does? Yes, a birth mother may become jealous when hearing their child is being breastfed by someone else, but that same jealousy will come up when thinking about them kissing their child, tucking them in at night, cuddling with them, watching them take their first step, etc. The benefits of breastfeeding for the baby are well-documented. Ask any doctor. Do the research. I think it is sad that American culture has become so uncomfortable with this beautiful and powerful part of the female body that so many people chose to do what’s NOT best for the baby.

]]> Comment on Breast Feeding as an Adoptive Mother by Lee http://theadoptiontree.wordpress.com/2008/02/20/breast-feeding-as-an-adoptive-mother/#comment-128 Lee Wed, 03 Jun 2009 01:09:52 +0000 http://theadoptiontree.wordpress.com/?p=24#comment-128 I ran across this and had to comment. I totally agree with some of you. I am a birth mother and I will never forget that disturbing feeling months into the (open) adoption that I got when the adopting mom told me that she had attempted breast feeding. Fast forward 10 years later to the present and I now see it was an indicator of insecurities to come. Its now clear that the mom has never truley come to grips with the fact that she can not bear a child etc. I have read all the stories of so called history of wet nurses and such, and it does not make me feel any less disturbed. We are not cavemen nor is it the 1800's, nor did I have a disease that prevented the birth mom (me) from breast feeding...with todays convient formulas it just is not necessary. Just my opinion, but I think someone hit the nail on the head when stating that it seems like the adopting mom is doing it for selfish (though with possible positive effects) of bonding. If bonding with a non-biological infant might be problematic, adoption may not be for you. A bold statement, I know but it strikes me along the same lines as some of the teenage girls I council attempting closeness from their boyfriends via unprotected sex. Emotional closeness is brought about by time, caring, etc. not just by a physical closeness. I ran across this and had to comment. I totally agree with some of you. I am a birth mother and I will never forget that disturbing feeling months into the (open) adoption that I got when the adopting mom told me that she had attempted breast feeding. Fast forward 10 years later to the present and I now see it was an indicator of insecurities to come. Its now clear that the mom has never truley come to grips with the fact that she can not bear a child etc. I have read all the stories of so called history of wet nurses and such, and it does not make me feel any less disturbed. We are not cavemen nor is it the 1800’s, nor did I have a disease that prevented the birth mom (me) from breast feeding…with todays convient formulas it just is not necessary. Just my opinion, but I think someone hit the nail on the head when stating that it seems like the adopting mom is doing it for selfish (though with possible positive effects) of bonding. If bonding with a non-biological infant might be problematic, adoption may not be for you. A bold statement, I know but it strikes me along the same lines as some of the teenage girls I council attempting closeness from their boyfriends via unprotected sex. Emotional closeness is brought about by time, caring, etc. not just by a physical closeness.

]]> Comment on I Gave Birth to a Baby Girl. by Brown http://theadoptiontree.wordpress.com/2009/04/09/i-gave-birth-to-a-baby-girl/#comment-127 Brown Mon, 18 May 2009 22:51:31 +0000 http://theadoptiontree.wordpress.com/2009/04/09/i-gave-birth-to-a-baby-girl/#comment-127 Congrats to you and your family on your baby girl! Thanks for keeping us posted :) Congrats to you and your family on your baby girl! Thanks for keeping us posted :)

]]> Comment on The Confusion and Guilt of Being a Sister by Birth by dena silver http://theadoptiontree.wordpress.com/2008/01/24/the-confusion-and-guilt-of-being-a-sister-by-birth/#comment-126 dena silver Fri, 08 May 2009 06:08:24 +0000 http://theadoptiontree.wordpress.com/2008/01/24/the-confusion-and-guilt-of-being-a-sister-by-birth/#comment-126 I'm going to suggest that guilt feelings may be a way to keep down the anger. You've every right to feel anger at having been treated in a dismissive way. And at having been placed in such a difficult situation by your parents. I’m going to suggest that guilt feelings may be a way to keep down the anger. You’ve every right to feel anger at having been treated in a dismissive way. And at having been placed in such a difficult situation by your parents.

]]> Comment on I Gave Birth to a Baby Girl. by mama2roo http://theadoptiontree.wordpress.com/2009/04/09/i-gave-birth-to-a-baby-girl/#comment-123 mama2roo Fri, 10 Apr 2009 01:05:19 +0000 http://theadoptiontree.wordpress.com/2009/04/09/i-gave-birth-to-a-baby-girl/#comment-123 Congratulations! Such happy news! Keep us up to date! Congratulations! Such happy news! Keep us up to date!

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