Searching for Birth Parents Using the Internet

I have had a few requests to provide more information on how and where an adoptee (particularly those in a closed public adoption) can start their search for their birth parents, and so this posting will hopefully do just that with a focus on searching using the Internet. Please keep in mind that I am not familiar with the adoption process outside of Canada; however a simple Google search with the keywords “adoptee searching” will bring up pages of websites. Keep in mind some of these websites may be free while others are paid. As well, be sure to thoroughly read a website before registering to ensure it is relevant and that you won’t be bombarded with needless solicitations and e-mails that are not relevant to your search.

In addition to searching online, for myself, the first step was to request my Adoption Order from the province of Ontario (which was the province in which my adoption took place). Once I had obtained this (it took a few months), I then requested my Non-Identifying Information. If your adoption was through a Children’s Aid Society, you have to request your non-identifying information from that particular agency (click here for a list of agencies in Ontario).

Non-Identifying Information is generally a multi-page document containing your social history including tidbits of information about your birth family such as their ages at the time of your birth, details surrounding your birth (i.e., time of birth, birth weight, etc.), your birth parents extra curricular activities, a bit about their home life and any like information they made available to the social worker at the time of your adoption. When applying for your non-identifying information it is very important to ensure you include as much of the following as you know:

• Full adoptive name
• Exact date of birth
• City or town where you were born
• Full names and address of adoptive parents when you went to live with them
• Your birth name (if known)
• Include a photocopy of your birth certificate, baptismal certificate, or driver’s license.
• Include current name, address and phone number and e-mail address

The more information you provide the quicker you will receive the non-identifying information. It took approximately nine months to receive my non-identifying information but I have heard it can take up to a few years! Just make sure that if you move that you make sure to notify the Children’s Aid Society and/or Ministry. My non-identifying information was about six single-sided pages. Unfortunately, upon finding my birth parents it was quickly pointed out that some of the information included on the non-identifying information was incorrect, however it was still pretty accurate and just knowing that much more about my birth parents made me feel that much closer to locating them.

While I waited for my non-identifying information to be received I registered with a website called the Canadian Adoptees Registry. It’s a simple and free website that lists adoptees searching as well as birth parents, siblings and family also searching. The website is run by birth parents that searched and located their birth daughter and is one of the largest adoptee search websites in Canada. All details pertaining to searching within Canada can also be found on the Canadian Adoptees Registry including links to Ministries, Agencies and check lists for successfully completing the necessary paperwork for items such as your Adoption Order.

Other ways to begin a search is to participate in online discussion groups such as those on AdoptionConnections.ca – it’s a small world out there and you never know who may read your post! There are plenty of websites dedicated to all kinds of adoptions – private, public and international. My recommendation is to start your search with a simple keyword search for “adoptee searching”. If you live in the United States over overseas try including the country in which your adoption took place and see what online resources are available for your particular country.

Just remember regardless of the online resources out there, it is very important to make sure you find out what documents you can and should request pertaining to your adoption or ask your adoptive parents what documentation they have surrounding your adoption that may be of assistance in your search.

Once you have exhausted all online resources and have all relevant documentation continue your active search by placing classified ads on free classified websites such as Craig’s List and Kijiji. Or if you know the city where your birth parents may be, try purchasing a classified ad in the local newspaper. Just make sure to include minimal information when placing classified ads and don’t include your name or phone number. I created a web-based e-mail address especially for this purpose.

I searched for and found both of my birth parents using the Internet. My birth father and I were reunited after both signing up with the Canadian Adoptees Registry and my birth mother was located after I posted an advertisement on a free local classified website. It took time to fond both of them, but I started searching when the Internet was still young. The number of online resources available to adoptees continues to grow and with it a growing online adoption community ready and willing to help you in your search. Good luck with your search.