When I finally decided I wanted to seriously search for my birth parents it was a passive decision. While searching had been on mind for quite some time, I was unsure how to search or where to begin my search. Then one cold winter night while in university I was sitting in front of a computer that had Internet access. I was waiting for a friend to finish emailing her boyfriend and so to pass the time I did a search on adoption in Canada. What came up was a great website dedicated to the search and reunion of adoptees and birth parents in Canada. The Canadian Adoptee Registry hasn’t changed much in the eleven years since I first registered with them, but their mandate and goal has stayed the same – to reconnect adoptees and birth families. You simply enter what information you know about your adoption into their free online database and if someone on the flip side registers with like information they’ll contact you. In addition to the database there are links to government resources and tips on what documents you should obtain regarding the adoption, such as the adoption order and non-identifying information.
Within weeks of registering I received a phone call from the woman who runs the Canadian Adoptee Registry – they had a match, they had found my birth father. From the moment I heard those words anxiety filled every ounce of my body. I wasn’t mentally prepared for the sudden emergence of a birth parent. I entered my name in that online database figuring it would sit there for years untouched. The woman on the phone said she would give me his email address and let me contact him when I was ready; at least that’s what I thought she said. I am not sure of the exact agreement anymore, but I do remember that the following day when I checked my email there was an email sitting in my inbox from a name I did not recognize. I remember reading that email over and over again and it saddens me that I didn’t keep a copy of the email or remember what it said.
I didn’t reply to his email right away. I don’t even remember what my reply said. I was confused as to what having my birth father in my life would suddenly mean. I never thought I would search and find so quickly.
I am one of the lucky one’s.
